Why being a female founder sucks… and rocks.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how my experience as a female tech founder differs from my male counterparts. Almost a month into my first tech incubator, I’m learning a lot - but I’m also seeing my weaknesses brought into sharp focus. Writing this is a way to exorcise some of the demon doubts that haunt me in the wee hours of the morning, and hopefully find some productive perspective.
What I’ve written may sound like weasel words - a lot of “tend to”s rather than “are”s - but this post accurately reflects my feelings and experience.
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Cons:
Women tend not to be hackers.
The received wisdom is that a startup needs a hacker and a hustler. Statistically speaking, women are less likely to fulfill the first role, making up only one-quarter of software engineers in the US (via). While there’s acknowledgement that design is an important skill in a startup - and women do tend to be more plentiful in those ranks - it’s still hard to code a prototype without some software engineering background.
There isn’t an established “old girls network” in tech.
Despite the fact that some of the first computer programmers were women, The ranks of successful women in tech are still thin. It’s hard enough finding a compatible mentor; finding one who’s also female is even harder.
There’s also the fact that women evolved to compete with a each in a zero-sum game, driving many women today to unconsciously undercut each other.
Women don’t ask or brag.
Statistically, we don’t like to haggle - we’ll pay more for a car to avoid it. This revulsion - which I feel sharply as an introvert - is in direct contrast to the skills I need as an entrepreneur. Everything from scheduling interviews with potential users as a part of customer development to schmoozing with VCs requires an ask. In fact, I’m writing this post right now to avoid it.
We’re also less likely to belly up to the podium and toot our own horns. Assertive and boastful men are seen as leaders, while women with the same characteristics are seen as unlikeable. We know this, and we act accordingly. While I hope this is lessening with subsequent generations - I’m above the median age for PIE at 37 - the tendency to lean back and be the helper instead of the leader is strong.
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Pros:
Women can be great hustlers.
Our predisposition to multitasking and consensus building makes us awesome counterparts to hackers:
A Hustler on the other other hand is a relationship builder. Someone who can build direct relationships with their customers. They aren’t really promoters, although they do a lot of promotion. They aren’t salespeople, although they do a lot of selling. They are passion people. They have the ability to articulate their passion clearly and in a way that gets other people equally passionate.
If we can tap into our passions and turn them into articulated exhortations, we’ll be fantastic evangelists for our ideas.
A female founder stands out in a crowd.
The current class of PIE startups includes three female co-founders, which feels great. That said:
only 14 of the 450 people ever accepted to Y Combinator (since it began in 2005) have been women. That’s a paltry 3%.
Ouch. That’s as of 9/2010, and since I don’t follow YC companies as closely as I should, that could have changed. But not by much. The silver lining in these statistics is that as a woman, you stand out. People notice me at tech events, especially when I’m wearing heels*. And if you’re working on a consumer-focused startup, getting noticed can get you more eyeballs in your acquisition funnel.
What about the problem of being a token? Frankly, I’ll take it. If someone wants to fund me as a diversity candidate, I will take that shit all the way to the bank. Because you know what? White males who won the genetic lottery by being born to the right family have been using their privilege for centuries. Give me some of that, and I will spread it around, and use it to pull up the next female entrepreneur from a working class family.
Women have insights that men don’t.
We all know women drive spending. What better insight to have than from a woman herself? If valuable ideas come from real pain points, then encouraging women to find solutions to our own problems is a no-brainer.
Sisterhood can be goddamn powerful.
Organizations like TIE were formed around a geographical identity. Women 2.0 and other organizations are following suit by creating networks around our sex. We still have a long way to go, but the more Sheryl Sandbergs there are, the better.
There’s a local female entrepreneur who’s been extremely generous by taking the time to meet with me, giving me intros, and feeding me some great ideas. Maybe she’d be just as helpful if I was a man, but I like to think there’s an affinity we share around being women.
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It’s been troubling me that these issues seem verboten in real life. I think that women founders don’t want to call attention to the fact that we’re women - as if we could somehow pass as men. Or as if these statistical inequities and predispositions don’t exist. That said, I don’t think this needs to be a blame thing. Or even a bid-for-pageviews thing. It is a dialog, though, so feel free to lambast, vilify, and discuss on Hacker News.
* Yes, I wear heels. No, I’m not going to be ashamed of it. If success requires costuming myself to fit in, I don’t want it. Thank you, Tara Hunt.
